Mistakes Conservatives Make
- You're "pro-life" but you support the death penalty.
- You think cutting funds from Education helps America's children.
- You claim ketchup is a vegetable.
- You think everyone on welfare is lazy.
You rant and rave about the evils of drugs... unless it's alcohol or tobacco.
- You feel, everyone was "created equal" if the person is straight and white.
- You find humor in saying "Algore" and
- You think anything left of Richard Nixon is communism.
- You think Hillary Rodham Clinton is out to destroy your family and your country.
- You tell people God is a capitalist.
You think workers should be paid as little as they will accept.
You think the media is led by "liberal" multi-conglomerate owners.
You think everyone in America should be fluent in English - right now!
- You think the Second Amendment is a sacred document, carved in granite.
- You think the First and Fourth Amendments "need some work.
- You blame minority problems on the minority with the problem.
You say Dan Quayle is experienced and intelligent, but you'd never vote for him.
- You think poor people should "knock it off."
- You want government enforced religion, if it's the one you believe in.
- You scream about all that awful filth on television, but when you praise pure capitalism, you say the market should make those kinds of decisions.
- You think the poor get off easy on their taxes.
- You think Al Gore to the unabomber have a lot in common.
- You care whether or not Clinton "inhaled"
- You think abortions should be against the law, except for that one time when your daughter needed one.
- You think only Democrats cheat when raising campaign money.
- You think only Democrats demonize their opponents.
- You think that because liberals don't like war they hate the boys in our military.
- You change the subject when your point fails to hold water.
- You scream "Play the race card" when we call you on your racism.
- You think affirmative action rewards the lazy (read black) people.
- You believe racism is no longer a problem. After all, the niggers will always complain about something, right?
- You hate taxes
, because YOU worked hard for your money!
- You hate taxes, unless a weapons manufacturer in a district represented by Trent Lott or Phil Graam says they're "needed."
- You pass judgment on people based on their income.
- You count your age from conception.
- You think Rush Limbaugh is actually right 97.8 percent of the time, as documented by "The Sullivan Group" in Sacramento.
- You think G. Gordon Liddy's six felonies were "patriotic."
- You think Ollie North told the truth about Iran-Contra, even if Ronald Reagan says it didn't happen that way.
- You think Pat Robertson wants nothing more than more souls for Jesus.
- You think 700 Club News is "fair and honest."
- You think impeachment was about the "Rule of Law."
- And finally, you know you're a conservative if you don't get the point of this.