From a document submitted and published in the

Congressional Record on October 1, 1974, by

Representative Craig Hosmer [R-California].

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned

somewhere.

Republicans form censorship committees and read them

as a group.

Republicans consume three fourths of all the rutabaga

produced in this country.

The remainder is thrown out.

Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their

paint brushes.

Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less

fortunate.

Republicans wear theirs.

Republicans employ exterminators.

Democrats step on the bugs.

Democrats name their children after currently popular

sports figures, politicians, and entertainers.

Republicans name their children after their parents or

grandparents, according to where the money is.

Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are

not successful.

Neither are Republicans.

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although

there is seldom any reason why they should.

Democrats ought to, but don't.

Republicans study the financial pages of the

newspaper.

Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown

out of car windows by Democrats.

Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows.

Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.

Democrats eat the fish they catch.

Republicans hang them on the wall.

Republican boys date Democratic girls.

They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that

they're entitled to a little fun first.

Democrats make plans and then do something else.

Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made.

Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate

rooms.

That is why there are more Democrats.