Dave "Doctor" Gonzo
March 31, 2001
Now, The Doc knows it's generally not good form to kick a dog when it's down.
Emphasis on generally.
In the case of one Doctor Laura Schlessinger, The Doc will gladly make an exception.
For too many years, Schlessinger, whose doctorate is actually in physiology, has passed herself off as a psychologist on hate radio.
She has used her program as a platform to blame emotionally troubled, dysfunctional people in complex situations for their own problems ina manner that the word "abusive" does not even begin to cover -- The Doc recalls tuning in to hear her giving one confused, clearly vulnerable caller nothing less than an abusive verbal tirade.
Is this woman sane? We've seen what happens when school kids get bullied and seek comeuppance by bringing weapons to school. The Doccan only imagine what some callers, hoping for help but instead finding themselves on the receiving end of a Schlessinger smackdown, might do.
On top of that, Laura has attacked gays as "deviant" "mistake[s]" and allied herself with the cadre of moralist hypocrites and crypto-Nazi "Christians" seeking to undermine the Constitution and institute a stealth theocratic oligarchy.
Last year, the angry neofascist harpy made an attempt to "branch out" -- attempting to ply her variety of propaganda in the form of a television "talk" show. A source close to The Doc was present at the videotaping of the pilot -- which she characterized as "laughable ... the [expletive deleted] has ZERO chemistry with the camera ... want a prediction?
It's so bad that Paramount [who produced the show] will have to 'paper' the audience with staffers to simulate the effect of an enthusiastic audience ... this show won't last one season."
Actually, that was two predictions.
But I digress.
It turns out both were true.
In a follow-up chat, The Doc's ever-reliable source confirmed that Paramount was scrounging for staffers to fill empty seats.
And late yesterday, Paramount, which had put the so-bad-it's-not-even-so-bad-it's good program "on hiatus" (the television equivalent of asking Dr. Jack Kevorkian to make a house call), announced that The Doctor Shrill Tee-Vee Extravaganza is cancelled.
The Doc had to laugh -- as if anyone with half a frontal lobe couldn't see that move coming.
The program was largely avoided by advertisers and got such poor ratings that many major markets shifted the program into the pre-morning AM hours -- the equivalent of "hospice treatment" for bad talk shows.
Paramount announced that although the last program taped yesterday, the program will continue to air through the fall -- which raises a sortof Zen question : does a talk show really get cancelled if there's hardly anyone around to see it in the first place?
The shrieking, mean-spirited radio hostess said in a press statement,"I believe it could have earned a substantial audience in time, but the television advertiser boycott precluded that."
The homophobic celebrity was referring to a boycott of both her television and radio shows bythe Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation after she labeled homosexuality as "deviant" and called gay individuals "a biological error" -- labels which she would know to be untrue had she gotten a doctorate in psychology or any number of other real academic disciplines.
But the truth is that the boycott -- well-intentioned as it was -- did not have the effect that the either deluded or lying Laura claimed. A TV ad industry source told The Doc, "You should have seen how potential advertisers reacted. They saw a hostess who had no camera charisma. And she pushed too hard -- you just couldn't like Laura, no matter how hard you tried. The topics didn't have the sizzle of [Jerry] Springer. And the audience looked like zombies . Not to put too fine a point on it, but most of our clients who saw the show thought it sucked."
In reaction to the cancellation, GLAAD executive director Joan M. Garry said, "We hope that as a function of this media outlets will think twice before giving a platform to somebody who is provocative at our expense."
Hmmm ... The Doc can only guess Garry hasn't been watching CBN or the FAUX News Channel lately.
An AP report on the Laura show's demise said, "She maintained that her goal on television as well as on radio was to 'preach, teach and nagfor people to do the right thing.'"
Well, if she talked the walk, she never would have tried to launch a program on the idiot box -- and would fold her hypocritical hate radio program immediately. But don't hold your breath waiting for her to set a good example.
Note : I have the collection of NUDE pictures of this "family-values" expert which I cannot post anywhere on my site.